5.30pm > I head over to Amie’s house to get ready. Literally take enough beauty supplies to open a medium sized Boots.
5.33 > First bottle of wine opened.
5.40 > The bride-to-be arrives and gives me the most gorgeous black glittery Hell Bunny dress to wear! Lucky me!
6.00 > All the make-up. All the hairspray.
7.15 > Mother of Steel arrives and we pose for some tasteful photos
7.30 > Our chauffeur takes us into town, with a brief stop off to pick up a bottle of Lambrini for the car. Classy.
8.00 > We arrive at The Dragon Inn to meet the future mother-in-law and sister-in-law. It’s full of chavs but we meet a amateur football team from the “Sarf af laaandon” and they provide some amusement in exchange for our directions towards the nearest Chinese
8.15 > Arrive at Reflex. Buy biggest cocktails available and follow with shots because that seems sensible.
8.30 > Dance. Dance to all the terrible songs. Laugh at everyone who is on the pull in the cheesiest club in town. Dance some more.
10.30 > Meet an incredibly drunk girl and her boyfriend who ask if we know any cool places to go in town. We tell them we are going to Eddies, and that it’s a metal club. She likes JLS, he likes Guns’n’Roses, we figure why not and set off on an epic quest across town.
11.00 > Eddies is heaving, we loose our new friends right away and they reappear a while later on the -floor-. We bump into lots of people we know and embarrass ourselves drunkenly. I shout at the front-man of local thrash legends Eradikator about how much I want one of his band’s T-shirts.
2.00 > More drinking, dancing and catching up with friends and a very long queue to the ladies room. Finally we decide it is time to head home and we call Mr. Brains to come rescue us.
2.45 > Ooops took the wrong exit and end up in traffic on Broad Street on a Saturday night.
3.30 > Finally home, make-up off, stumble around to find PJs and SLEEP!